One of the most common words in the invalidating, self-blaming
stories we believe about ourselves or our situations is the
word “should.” The psychologist Albert Ellis has coined the
phrase “Stop shoulding on yourself.” When you tell yourself that you
should feel or be another way, you are likely to feel bad
about yourself. As an alternative, try telling yourself that
it is okay to feel or be the way you are, even though you
have some idea that you should feel or be different.
Bill O’Hanlon
stories we believe about ourselves or our situations is the
word “should.” The psychologist Albert Ellis has coined the
phrase “Stop shoulding on yourself.” When you tell yourself that you
should feel or be another way, you are likely to feel bad
about yourself. As an alternative, try telling yourself that
it is okay to feel or be the way you are, even though you
have some idea that you should feel or be different.
Bill O’Hanlon
There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think,
feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole
complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away!
Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't
fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me
to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad--
you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think,
feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole
complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away!
Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't
fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me
to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad--
you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.
Stacey Charter
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